What to pass on to your children.
What can’t be bought, and stays.
When you think about what to pass on to your children, you often think of things. But what they’ll really remember is something else: the recipe you make for special occasions, the family stories, the way you got through the bad days, the right words at the right moment. This guide helps you gather them, one at a time, and choose when they’ll arrive.
The things money can’t buy
Children hardly ever remember the presents. They remember the smell of the kitchen on a Sunday, the song you used to sing in the car, the thing you always said when something went wrong.
Today these things seem a given, because they happen every day. But as they grow up, they become their way of feeling at home, wherever they are. Gathering them now, calmly, is the simplest way not to leave them to chance.
You don’t need to leave a lot. You need to leave something real.
8 things to pass on to your children
You don’t have to do them all. Pick one, start there, and add the others over time.
Where you come from, how your grandparents met, the journey that changed everything.
The ones for special occasions and the everyday ones, with those “by eye” quantities finally written down.
Not as rules, but told through a story: the time you chose to be honest even though it cost you.
How to iron a shirt, how to ask for a pay rise, how to make up after an argument.
A bedtime story, a song, a recorded “good morning”. It’s what children look for most, years later.
First words, fears, funny things they said: memories they can’t have themselves.
Turning 18, graduation, their wedding, their first child: words written today, for that day.
Christmas lunch, the Easter Monday day out, the first-day-of-school ritual: so they carry on in their own homes too.
How to start, without feeling overwhelmed
Five tips for turning a good intention into something real.
- Start with something small. A recipe, a photo with a couple of lines underneath. The first step matters more than the complete list.
- Write the way you speak. Your children want to find you in it, not a perfect piece of writing.
- Involve them while they’re little. Cook the recipe together, record the song together: it’ll become a double memory.
- Give each thing its moment. A letter for their 18th birthday, the recipe for their first home, the family history for when they have children of their own.
- Keep adding. One memory a month is enough. In a few years you’ll have a precious collection.
Questions to get you started
If you don’t know where to begin, answer one of these.
10 things I’d like you to know
Not every letter has to be long. Sometimes a list is enough, jotted down in one go and added to over the years. Here’s an example, written by a mum for her daughters.
For a longer letter, you’ll find ideas and examples in the guides Letter to my daughter and Letter to my son.
Dear Grace and Lily,
here are ten things I’ve learnt, and that I’d like you to know too:
- Biscuits turn out better when you make them with someone.
- Saying sorry doesn’t make you smaller.
- A walk sorts out almost everything.
- You find out who your real friends are on the bad days.
- Learn to cook at least one dish for guests.
- Say yes to adventures, even the ones that scare you a little.
- Say no to anyone who doesn’t let you be yourselves.
- Ring your nan. It means more to her than you can imagine.
- Getting a recipe wrong isn’t a problem: you still get to eat it.
- You’re already enough. You were at three years old too, with flour right up to your hair.
With all my love, Mum
One place for everything you want to pass on
Recipes on scraps of paper, photos on your phone, letters in a drawer: the most precious things are often scattered everywhere. Erabox gathers them in one place and makes sure they reach your children when it matters.
Gather
Letters, recipes, photos, audio, video: add one memory at a time, whenever you have a moment.
Choose who will receive it
Your children don’t need to sign up or download anything: they’ll receive a personal, secure link.
Choose the moment
A birthday, their 18th, their first home, the birth of a child, or a date that’s just yours.
Erabox keeps your memories safe on servers in Switzerland and delivers them on exactly the day you chose, even many years from now.
What to pass on to your children: frequently asked questions
Can’t find your answer? Write to us via Help.
Other words, for other moments
You don’t need to leave a lot.
You need to leave something real.
Start gathering your memories today. They’ll reach your children when it matters.